My story… in a nutshell.
I never struggled finding partners.
That was the easy part.
What I struggled with was repeatingly attracting partners who were emotionally unhealthy, disrespectful, abusive, unfaithful, took me for granted and/or never treated me as a priority. I couldn’t seem to find a partner who treated me with the same loyalty, love and care as I treated him.
Since it appeared obvious it was all my past partners’ disrespectful and/or abusive behaviors that wrecked our relationships, it never occurred to me that I had any responsibility to take.
Until late 2009, when life challenged me with a dreadful experience I call, “my tsunami.” Everything that made me feel secure in the world was wiped out by the unhealthy and abusive behavior of my second husband. I was incomeless and soon to be homeless with three children in tow. The inability to provide for my children incited a fear and panic inside me that I had never experienced. After a 3 AM episode I refer to as a “physical nervous breakdown”, I realized something had to give or I was going to explode into a million pieces.
Laying on the floor of my living room with what sounded like jet engines roaring in my ears accompanied by the dreadful feeling when you’re about to vomit and sh*t your pants at the same time, I remembered something… we’re not alone here… there’s a force, a higher power, an infinite intelligence here to guide us. So, I took the fingertip of faith I had left and bet it all on the mystical, magical unknown to see me through. (Turns out, it was the best decision I ever made.)
I vowed to remain single and celibate until I figured out why I kept attracting the wrong people and how to end that pattern for good!
I fondly refer to that time as The College of Kristen as it was a time of solitude, intentional focus, learning, opening, receiving, releasing, growing and expanding. Interestingly, I had no idea the transformation taking place within me until I realized how differently I was showing up in the world. I no longer accepted the unacceptable, settled for scraps, stayed quiet when I needed to speak up, made excuses for others’ crappy behavior and I was setting and maintaining healthy boundaries without guilt and fear. All the previous signs of neediness, desperation and people pleasing were completely gone. My energy had organically shifted from hustling for love, approval and attention to confident, empowered and free!
The disempowered girl of yesteryear was replaced with a woman I always knew was in there, but didn't know how to bring her forth without feeling like I was doing something wrong.
Then something crazy amazing happened…
I started attracting the most wonderful, high vibe people to me! The entire landscape of both my platonic and romantic relationships upgraded in the most remarkable way!
Because I now love, respect and honor myself, I attract people who mirror that back to me. Absolutuly mind blowing.
But here’s the best part… The antidote is not something we have to find “out there.” The antidote has been inside us the whole time.
That antidote is Self-Love.
I became a certified Master Spiritual Life Coach and I started a website and blog. I published my first book in 2014 and my second in 2023 which became an International #1 best seller in a few short hours. I’ve guest authored on too-many-to-count relationship blogs, I appeared on a local morning show Sonoran Living Live multiple times, started a Podcast and a YouTube channel and was invited to appear on The T.D. Jakes Show on the Oprah Winfrey Network.
It is now my greatest passion and pleasure to teach others how to love, respect and honor their sacred self so they can live fully empowered and authentic lives chock full of the mutual love, adoration and honor they deserve!
It is our birthright to live a blissful life brimming with everything that puts a twinkle in our eye.
The key is knowing it and living it!
You matter. You always have. It’s time to go love yourself!
Much love,
Kristen
